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Real Life
Magic
Focus
on Andy Toohey
I’ve never met
Andy Toohey before and I was initially not sure why I was
interviewing him, but as he told me his story in a quiet voice, full
of pauses, and his transformation and gratitude began to unfold, I
was very moved.
It can’t be the
same, for me to tell you his experience in my words. You have to
imagine him telling you, in a voice that sounds sometimes unsure, but
always fluent, and is full of a strange innocence, a sense of awe….
Andy tells me that
he developed a stutter at 3 that quickly became quite severe,
especially at school. He was teased by the other children, and became
more and more convinced that he was different, and not as important
as everyone else, and that no one was interested in him. This lead to
very low self esteem, extreme shyness, and an experience in life that
was far from joyful.
“I started to form
beliefs and strategies in order to survive. In the end it just made
everything worse,” he says. “I became severely depressed
throughout my life, and this led to a path of extremely self
destructive behaviour.”
Andy stresses to me
that he has done lots of work on himself: he’s seen speech
therapists and psychiatrists, and tried numerous self development
modalities and while some have been helpful, none of them have really
made a major difference in his life.
His journey with The
Magician’s Way began with reading the book, which he says he was
glued to and finished in an afternoon, realising from this that his
depression was something he had made up in order to survive. This
gave him a sense that his life could be something more than what he
had experienced up until now, so he excitedly signed up for The
Magician’s Way Intensive.
I ask Andy what his
first impression of the workshop was.
“When I first
walked into that room with all those people I was very excited and
yet anxious,” he says. “Here I was attending yet another course
almost daydreaming that this would be the one that would show me the
key to my own heart…and it was.”
At certain times in
the Intensive, participants are encouraged to share what they are
learning. Andy tells me that he was really nervous the first time
that he put his hand up and was quite glad that he wasn’t picked to
speak. This was because the last time he had tried to speak in front
of a large group was 14 years ago, and it was painful and
embarrassing because he could not get a single word out.
“On the first day
of the course I was really anxious and freaked out,” says Andy,
“but I soon learned that I had been living my whole life based on
beliefs about myself that I made up in my childhood. I saw that I
have been experiencing the pain of that belief over and over again
and thinking it was reality, when really it was a prison I made for
myself.”
By the end of the
day Andy was ready to speak to the group. He stood up, still anxious
but determined, and spoke into the microphone to share his experience
with other participants. He was surprised to find that he spoke
slowly and eloquently and that the group appreciated his
contribution.
“The words just
flowed,” he says excitedly, “it was everything I had always
dreamed of!”
His whole way of
seeing the world – all his assumptions about himself and others
were smashed in that moment. He realised that there was a whole other
life available to him outside of what he had previously experienced
as reality.
“I’ve done
courses that lasted a full year,” he says. “I got more out of
those three and a half days at the Intensive than any of the other
courses I have done.”
I ask Andy what he
got about his life purpose in the workshop – what it is that his
heart truly loves.
“Well,” he says,
“I found out that I heal with my voice. I love singing, and to find
out that my heart really lies in my voice is overwhelming. For
someone who has stuttered painfully for 28 years, to realise that my
voice has a quality that can heal and serve the world is just
amazing.”
I ask Andy what kind
of lasting effects he has experienced from the intensive. He says he
doesn’t stutter so much, in fact his stutter is almost non-existent
by comparison, and that he is now putting his energy into the things
he loves in life, rather than his belief system.
“Before, when I
was faced with answering the phone at work, a whole bunch of things
would come up for me – and a huge anxiety: What if I can’t get
the words out? What if they don’t like me?...Now, I have the tools
to concentrate on the end result – which is connecting with the
person who is calling, and my words flow smoothly. I am free to
express myself with ease and eloquence.”
“And I feel
different about life,” he says, “I came away from the course
feeling really grounded and at peace with myself.”
It’s obvious to me
that Andy’s experience of life has totally changed since the
intensive. The thing that really moves me is how I can feel his heart
shining. I can feel a very sweet and beautiful man on the other end
of the phone who has been reconnected with his heart’s simple truth
and I can feel his soul singing. I know he will have a valuable
contribution to the world.
Thanks Andy, really
great to meet you.
By
Willow Davies
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