I’m a Goddess… but also a Baboon by Jamie Louise Bloom

Last weekend at the Teacher Accreditation Training, William shared a story of an experiment where scientists placed four baboons in a cage with a pole in the middle. They put a bunch of bananas on top of the pole, and further down, set up automatic hoses to blast freezing-cold water at the baboons if they attempted to get to the bananas.

After numerous attempts where the baboons ended up drenched in freezing-cold water, the baboons eventually gave up. The scientists later came and removed the hoses; however the baboons still didn’t go for the bananas. The scientists then took one of the baboons out of the cage and replaced it with a new baboon. The new baboon instantly took one look at the bananas and raced to go up the pole, but the other three grabbed it and dragged it down again. This happened several times, until the new baboon finally got the message; that it wasn’t a good idea to go for the bananas. The scientists then replaced the other baboons, one at a time, until there were four completely new baboons, none who had even seen the hoses let alone been soaked by them, and yet, they still didn’t go for the bananas.

So what’s the significance of this story? William explained that the bananas represent our hearts, or what we love in life, and that the hoses represent the beliefs that we made up when we went for what we loved as children, and were hurt. It made sense that we stopped going for what we loved, but the saddest thing to see was that decades later, long after the original pain had subsided, we were still just like the baboons: avoiding what we loved in fear of being hurt.

I’d just discovered and announced to the group that I was a Goddess (which is one of the choices I’m being coached to create), and now I was also realising that I was a baboon. Not only was I avoiding going for what I loved, but I was also in denial of even wanting them, because I assumed that they could only result in pain. For example, one of my other choices is to create my true love, which in all my visions is a character like George of the Jungle: a strongly masculine, sexual and playful man who is in his heart and connected to nature. It sounds great, however in the past I’ve been too afraid to go for that in fear of being hurt by him, so I instead go for a safe, secure, non-sexual man who I think will love me, look after me and protect me. Inevitably, those relationships end with both of us both feeling unsatisfied and frustrated, and it actually causes a lot of pain, a lot more than if I just went for what I wanted.

So I learned that if I avoid going for what I love, I’ll just spend my life suffering in quiet desperation. My fear of being hurt by a strong man is just like the baboons’ fear of being blasted with cold water; just something I have to face in order to get my George of the Jungle, or my bananas, and which is nowhere near as bad as never going for what I want. I learned mastery is simply about knowing what I want and going for it, despite my fears of what I think will happen. So I may be a baboon, but I’m now choosing to be one with a banana in my hand.

Jamie.

www.junglejamie.com

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